NASA Breaks Alien Code

(Houston) The National Aeronautics and Space Administration has broken the code used by UFOs and other wandering aliens to communicate among themselves. It has been determined that the space creatures have used this code for more than 40 years.

The primary code, hacked by NASA scientists Thursday, appears to be simple and direct. It has survived attempts by the giants of the solar system to crack it and has protected its identity, avoiding contact with humans at all times.

“The code is this: K-E-E-P T-H-E-M I-N T-H-E-I-R H-O-U-S-E-S. D-EL-I-V-E-R T-H-E-M T-A-C-O-S, chirped a top space scientist here. We understand it on one level but that’s all. Whether they have duplicate, offsetting codes or if this one is just a dummy code is not clear at this time.”

Rumors that aliens are already here and communicating with lower primates were dismissed by a Congressional hearing this morning, leading the more radical wing of the researcher delegates to walk out in protest.

Keen military minds remain on alert and local police are monitoring the behavior of taco delivery entities all over the country.

“We should welcome these space creatures as guests,” said an Area 51 enthusiast from Area 52. “Maybe they can achieve peace in the Mideast, racial harmony in these United States, pay off the national debt and offer free education and medical like they have in Europe.”

The code, which covers a variety of topics and exercises, interfaces well with a multitude of communications, many of which are ridiculous diversions. It is not known if the aliens know about the breach of security.

Perhaps intelligent beings do not want to land on earth. It may all look like Branson and Orlando to them.

 – Tommy Middlefinger

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