Mega-Tourism Demise of Rome

(Vienna) Archeologists returning from a massive dig in northwest Italy say the Roman Empire was driven to its knees by too much of a good thing. Dribbles of tourism seemed to be just the thing to aid the ailing economy drenched from Caesar’s jaunts into Galicia and the building of navy to match the nautical capacites of Egypt.

That opened the doors and soon the entire peninsula was flooded with the defeated on vacation. Yes, the very people subjugated though the Roman conquests over the past century had come home to roost. There were Carthaginians and Belgicans and Judeans and Numians, all crowding the markets. all asking dumb questions.

Rampant, out-of-control mobs soon seeped from beneath the walls of the Coliseum infecting neighborhoods in peace since the days of Romulus and Uncle Remus. And that was before they put the sunroofs and vomitoriums in over at the Senate annex.

From the East came the Lycians, Macedonians, Cretans, Armenians, all with their odd ancient ways despite the efforts of the Empire to bring them along in the Roman way.

Then there were the cruise ships and the geeks from Britannia and camera-wielding munchkins from the molehills of pretty Lockleara and the hallucinogenic meadows of San Pedro. There were even Germanic tribes like the Visigoths, the Saxons and the Franks who would someday bring apocalyptic terror to these very streets and bazaars. But today they were on vacation too, mobbing the restaurants, taking all the parking spots, drunk by noon.

For a quasi-related piece please turn to “Pray Away the Hay Backfires” in The Weekend Rancher.

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