Martian Web Site Detected

(Colona) Two internet surfers appear to have stumbled across the most magnificent discovery since Lief Erickson sailed into Newfoundland in 1340. Unlike the renown Viking they did it from a home computer.

Perhaps the most thrilling kicker is that they have had mounds of correspondence from their extraterrestrial counterparts, two young hackers from the Noonday Gulf on the Red Planet of Mars. Although at first the language barrier was formidable, after a little code work and sound wave application both sides began to communicate quite readily.

“What a shock to find a Martian website,” said one of the lads, whose names were not released until further investigation could be completed. “This certainly throws a bit of light on the question of other beings living in our solar system. What’s really funny is that our new friends still use dial-up to access their email.”

The Martians say their entire culture lives miles above and below the planet that has been determined to be quite inhospitable due to extreme temperatures and the presence of red dust all over everything. When contacted leading sources at NASA and the FAA agreed that the assumption is ridiculous and that any number of scenarios could explain the exchange.

“It’s about as silly as the Man in the Moon theory,” said one NASA official.

Meanwhile sources within the Caligula* Administration denied validity regarding the findings due to accepted Creationist theories and “because, to quote a high ranking aide, “we believe the world to be flat.”

Rogue scientists attempting to make contact with other beings in the Universe say the vocal patterns and data shared indicate that the sources are indeed extraterrestrial.

“We have yet to hear anything like this,” stressed one free-lance space ship chaser from New Mexico. “even in the movies. If true, the ramifications of this encounter will immediately change the world as we know it.”

Government officials who hope to determine if the communication is real or if it’s a hoax have taken the two boys into protective custody. Intergalactic enthusiasts interested in checking out the site can go to www.mars.org or wait to be contacted telepathically. Be advised that doing so may violate recent federal bans on communication with persons from outer space. If you plan to travel to Mars please refer to www.statedepartment.us/travel in foreign countries for an update on safety and political climate.

*As called in the New York Times

Filed Under: Reflections on Disorder

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