MAN IN THE MOON ARRESTED FOR INDECENT EXPOSURE

The mythical man in the moon is mythical no more. He’s cooling his heels in a local jail cell. A myriad of complaints from local lunar gazers prompted a police raid on the suspected pervert’s official digs Tuesday morning. Officers confiscated gravitational home videos, crude anti-aircraft placements, mangled satellite parts, mounds of green cheese and documents calling for the invasion of earth by the year 2030.

One Delta County woman who called in a complaint Friday said the man in the moon was running around in the vicinity of the Sea of Fertility wearing only a lamp shade and a pair of Sorels. When police arrived at her residence to observe the alleged lewd behavior they were greeted by a contingent of telescopes that would put most astronomical observatories to shame.

“You can see better if you climb up on this stool,” said the woman who was reluctant to give her name or give up her high-powered telescope.

The man in the moon will remain incarcerated at an undisclosed spot until his arraignment Monday morning. Anyone with input deemed essential to the case is asked to either orbit or stay far away from the proceedings altogether.

-Marcella Pesterman

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