Iran’s Claim to be Persia Called Hogwash

(Indianapolis) Vice President Mike Pence said today that Iran is not and has never been Persia. The provocation is the latest exchange between the two pseudo-republics who are at odds over Syria. He called the assertion hogwash, a common term for denial in the Great Midwest.

“Israel could have once been Persia or maybe even Babylon but Iran has always been dry, rocky theocratic Iran,” explained Pence anxiously attempting to locate the two countries on a map of the Greater Mideast.

“That’s like saying the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers were there before the Mississippi or The 500 or that Mesopotamia taught sex education in the schools.”

“My Persian rug comes from Wal-Mart not Iran,” he coughed.

“Iran is not Persia, I say it again,” squawked the Hoosier crusader. “The place is teeming with pagans. Persia was never like that. This is just another ploy to give credibility to evil doings in the Persian Gulf. Its like saying Cairo is in Egypt when everyone knows it’s in Georgia.”

-Mohammed Mosaddegh

“God created war so Americans could learn geography”

– Mark Twain

Filed Under: Lifestyles at Risk


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