Indians Gearing Up For Final Thrust

(Wounded Knee — Taholah (Washington) Times — July 17, 2017)

Thousands of Native Americans, donned in war paint, are massing for one final assault into the heartland of White America. Warriors from the Lakota, Ute, Comanche, Nez Perce and Apache Nations made of the bulk of the force.

Rumors circulating many western state capitals warn that the group may have access to nuclear weapons and that they plan to recover the land that was taken from them beginning in the 1600s.

“We’ve been planning this maneuver since around 1890,’ said a tribal spokesman. “The government figured we’d cease to exist or assimilate along the way. Neither has turned out to be true.”

Sources here on the Quinault Reservation are predicting victories in Washington, Oregon, Idaho and Montana thanks to an engrained knowledge of the terrain. In Wyoming, Colorado Utah and New Mexico, the elevation is the Indian ally as warriors swoop down on the visiting flatland armies with the might of the Great Spirit in their tomahawks, according to a press release.

“We will refrain from the European practice of taking scalps and will not harm anyone who surrenders,” said the source. “Then with control of the high country we can repel and counteroffensive by the forces of Manifest Destiny. They must remember: We might have “the big one” stashed in our wigwam or under a loincloth. One never knows, does one?”

– Pahoo

“The world keeps ending but new people, too dumb to know it keep showing up as if the fun’s just started.”      – John Updike

Filed Under: Reflections on Disorder

Tags:

RSSComments (0)

Trackback URL

Comments are closed.