Imitating chicken sounds nets fine, jail time for Olathe man

(Pea Green) Melvin Toole thought he was under the radar, living in this quiet Western Colorado town. He never figured his incessant chipping and clucking would irritate anyone much less be called a public nuisance. But, like the old rule on moderation, Toole got caught with his wattle up and his feathers down.

One of his neighbors complained and he was charged with complicity to empower chaos in the barnyard, disturbing the peace after a slew of warnings, aggravated pecking, impersonating a cock and questionable spurring in the henhouse.

Toole can imitate the Langshan and the Jersey Giant simultaneously while digging potatoes,” tweeted one supporter. “I saw him do it at Pea Green Hall back in the 70s. Rather than throwing him into the slammer we should be elevating him to celebrity status,” she barked. “He should be considered a national treasure.”

Toole, the batty rooster type, originally from Cahone, began the vocal masquerade as a hobby but it quickly grew out of control.

“He couldn’t stop,” said his estranged wife Belle, who moved to Maybell in 2009 to get rid of all the parroting. “He started early and finished late and after all that he refused to lay so much as one measly egg. I tried taping his beak and even hit him with a board but he wouldn’t shut up.”

Toole, like so many others in Western Colorado, will undergo psychiatric tests next week to see if he is healthy enough for a week in jail. The fines, amounting to $100 were paid by the Friends of Poultry and the local  humane society.

– Uncle Pahgre

“I could get in more pleasant “trouble” walking home from church in Colombia then I could staying out all night in Las Vegas USA.”  – from 3.2 Puritans on Opiates by Gunther Upanishads

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