House Thefts Up Nationwide

(New York) The number of houses stolen so far has risen sharply indicating a desperation on the part of the poor and the emergence of more capable thieves. For years burglars were content to break into a home and steal smaller items like jewelry, cash and weapons. Today the high tech crook sees this as small potatoes compared to taking the entire structure.

Gated communities, once thought to keep out negative elements with sticky fingers, have been particularly hard hit with some fourteen second homes ripped off so far this year (3 alone in California).

“Let’s be real here,” said one security guard working near Villa la Basura in Southern California. “If a thief has it on his mind to haul off a house no gate is going to stop him. For what we are paid I can’t see any in the brotherhood of security personnel sticking out his neck to save some rich person’s property.”

One would think that the authorities might have some success catching robbers with an entire house in their possession.

“The police have made some arrests but most of these thefts occur late at night after everyone has gone to bed,” said one police spokesman. “The best advice is to stay home with your rifle handy. These low life types are looking for easy targets and will generally back off when confronted.”

     Some security experts go so far as to propose mining a property so as to deprive the thief of access. Attempts to booby-trap foundations or dredge extensive moats have proved disastrous.

The sad scenario of house theft often follows a basic pattern with thieves hauling it off to a secluded spot where the spoils are then divided up at leisure.

“They take everything,” said one Colorado man whose house disappeared back in December. “All we have left is a lot. They even took the dog.”

– Small Mouth Bess


“Get there first with the most men.”

– Nathan Bedford Forrest, Confederate army general (1821-1877)

Filed Under: Reflections on Disorder


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