Guns and Moses Cancels Gig in Mañana

(Cambridge-on-Tomichi) The semi-popular foursome, Guns and Moses will not perform as scheduled here due to an unseen roller derby conflict according the manager Biff Bungler.

By way of explanation the apologetic Bungler contended that the band, endorsed by both the National Rifle Association and the local synagogue was overcome with acute schizophrenia as well as a case of the sniffles.

“Prior commitments to the sport of roller derby prevent the boys from crossing the Gunnison River due to a no compete clause in their contract,” clipped Bungler.

Guns and Roses are considered one hit Willies after the marginal success of their single “Praise the Lard and Pass the Malnutrition” which sold well in the provinces but never made headway in the cities.

Replacing Guns and Moses will be Saint Paul’s Assault Rifles, a 111-member chutney marching jam band that features a stunning marmalade fireworks display during one of many snare drum solos.

“That way we don’t have to give anyone their money back,” added Bungler, who some say has squandered proceeds at the Tobacco Revenge Casino on the Mt. Hashmore Preserve.

Bungler had no comment when asked to confirm rumors that Guns and Moses was in jail (en-suite) in Salida for alleged espionage activities and conspiracy to overthrow the gov’ment.

Filed Under: Soft News


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