Grandmother grandfathered says coucil

“I hauled these marmots in here!”

Grandma Wishbonze will be allowed to keep her geraniums after a council ruling. (Police file photo)

A 96-year-old great grandmother has won a battle against city hall today after a lengthy struggle. The issue was her geraniums and the odor common to the floral specimens.

“My flowers ain’t hurtin’ anyone,” said Myrna Wishbonze, a former defendant turned victorious.

“The whole neighborhood still stinks of these cranesbills, said Owen W. Sieve, Executive director of the Happy Hills Homeowners Association. We could hardly smell our steaks cooking on the grill anymore. The woman has to be controlled.

Local authorities thought better and it was decided that the flowers remain since they were rooted here first and that the homeowners should pursue other agenda items “avoiding the petty and concentrating on community.”

Grandma Wishbonze “has been singled out for harassment by a group of tired old farts with nothing else to do but upset the donkey cart” said a memo from the mayor’s office. “Enough is enough. We must preserve the right to play outside the box. Down with cultural homogenization! Long live the eccentric!”

“Some people just seem to enjoy these petty little confrontations while half the planet is out looking for something to eat,” said Sasha Remakee, a former botanical activist who was elected to the local council on the Red Petal Ticket in November.

Remakee is best known for her investigative roll and butter routine that shined light on tofu gravy shortcuts, ersatz coffee and pancakes filled with hot air down at Red’s (Cafe) near Wimpton Nuclear Plant.

“It was that second-shift lunch special that got her elected in the first place,” sobbed Sieve.

Later she stunned followers by backpedaling on claims that she her mother had been a decorated, tone-deaf fighter pilot in World War I. (A claim she later reclaimed).

Then, according to a re-print of an article from Caucasian Nation, Remakee shocked a died-in-the-wool contingent of Mayflower devotees reminding them that many Blacks and Latinos can claim an American heritage that began painfully before the Pilgrims dropped anchor.

Meanwhile Grandma Wishbonze is tickled that she can keep her flowers. I have names for reach and every one of them,” she whispered, “although they don’t always respond to my syllabic pruning.”

A retired physical education teacher (Pea Green Academy), Wishbonze penned over 400 articles on Body Chemistry and Water Law from her Orchestral Home before the flooding in West Paradox in the early 80s. In addition she functioned as president of the Good Grammar Pioneers on Wong Mesa. In 2008 she was officially proclaimed grandmother of everyone in Shavano Valley and interested families living east of the The West Canal.

“Hell, I hauled these marmots in here.” she teased, “right after Uncle Dave hauled in the San Juans.” alluding to some great-relative or another.

– Dusty Pearl

Filed Under: Lifestyles at Risk

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