Garbage company cans service till spring

(Montrose) A longtime waste management company has suspended service here until spring. Citing colder than average conditions and the rise in garbage identity theft, sources with Bella Trash Inc. (formerly of Gladstone) say working man’s comp claims and the threat of lawsuits over security have forced their hand in this matter.

“Our personnel have been tardy or absent altogether on colder days. Who could blame them?” said a prepared press release found under a box of Argentine merlot in our lovely yet pretentious brick courtyard this morning.

The news was a shock to the San Juan Horseshoe, which in one week generates more organic debris than Bedrock, Paradox, and the Twin Cities of Nucla and Naturita combined.

According to voiced concerns, criminal elements have been seizing garbage and selling data and addresses to solicitors even though they said they would not do so.

The action has no connection to a controlled sewage leak aimed at killing noxious weeds before summer, said the release.  

– Charles U. Farley

Filed Under: Featured Peeks


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