FUDD HANGS UP SPURS

(Gunnison) Hunter extraordinaire and charter member of the Tomichi Creek Sportsman’s Society, Elmer Fudd has decided to call it quits after over 40 years in the field. His familiar wool cap and compelling stance at the sound of game will live on in the memories of hunters and outdoorsmen everywhere.

“Elmer has tracked deer, stalked elk, chased bear, cornered mountain lions, ferreted pheasant, trailed sage hen, shadowed antelope, snared duck, dogged moose, smoked salmon and hunted for rabbit over his three decades in the limelight,” said long time associate and toady, Porky Pig. “Before Elmer came along people just didn’t take cartoon characters seriously even if they were armed,” he chubbed. “Today his legacy speaks for itself.”

Fudd is expected to make the announcement after an early morning rabbit shoot near Almont.

While it is difficult to believe Fudd’s claims, especially considering close relationships with ducks, coyotes, roadrunners and rabbits over the years, statistics don’t lie.

“Elmer did nothing else but hunt,” continued Pig. “He’d get up every morning and shoot something before attending speech classes. Then he’d hit the trail again after lunch hoping to catch an inattentive grouse or maybe disoriented bighorn sheep. Cartoons don’t generally work a full 40-hour week so he had lots of free time to pursue his interests.

Contacted at his home yesterday Fudd greeted us with the familiar Hewo and much to our surprise told us to pwease be quiet as he was hunting fo’ wabbit.

“Old habits are tough to break,” offered Pig. “Elmer has quit just like he said but sometimes he still hunts in his sleep. I’ve seen his legs trigger finger twitching and his little legs go round and round.”

Fudd’s retirement leaves a staggering void within the ranks of hunters statewide. Although he has reportedly hand picked his successor over 4000 hunters have applied for the position since his announcement last weekend.

Detractors suggest that Fudd is a hateful symbol of intolerance with zero empathy people with speech impediments. Supporters say its all in good fun and that political correctness and overall consciousness had different spins when Fudd first burst onto the scene in the Fifties.

“He’s passing the torch,” said Pig. “Let me tell you, he’ll be missed. That boy bled blaze orange.”

-Susie Compost

Filed Under: Featured Peeks

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