EMPTY-HEADED GEOGRAPHY QUIZ

Which state does the Utah Jazz call home?

That’s an easy one, but in keeping with federal attempts to improve education for all, we must arrive at some common denominator. That’s the point of the following quiz: Along the lines of accepted gov’ment thinking if everyone succeeds and scores in the 90th percentile that must mean education (as it now exists) is functioning right along at the same pace.

So let us get those literacy rates up. The schools are already a mess so let’s go ahead and run them all damn summer!  It is with the application of these simple solutions that euphoria will overrun our basic social institutions and we will achieve the goal of more ineffective education for all. You betcha. Amen.

1. In 1883, Mark Twain wrote Life on the Mississippi. What river was he talking about?

a. The Gunnison

b. The Missouri

c. The San Miguel

d. The Mississippi

2. In what country do the Chinese reside?

a. Japan

b. Holland

c. Wyoming

d. China

3. What four state capitals where named after former American Presidents?

a. Austin, Phoenix, Columbus and Sacramento

b. Madison, Lincoln, Jackson and Jefferson City

c. Montpelier, Carson City, Baton Rouge, Winston-Salem

d. Hoover, Wilson, Roosevelt and Nixon.

4. Is Alaska farther north than Alabama? When?

5. What do Oahu, Maui, Hawaii and Kauai have in common?

6. In what country is Norwegian the official language?

a. Sweden

b. Finland

c. Norway

d. Chad

7. In what country are the Austrian Alps located?

a. Mexico

b. Austria

c. Italy

d. Germany

8. The saying “When in Rome do as the Romans do” is attributed to what city?

a. Paris

b. Rome, Italy

c. Rome, New York

d. Antwerp

9. Name two countries that touch the Indian Ocean. What does the Continental Divide divide? What city in Georgia is named after Christopher Columbus? Ohio?

10. What country did Rickey Ricardo come from?

a. Pakistan

b. South Africa

c. Cuba

d. Bolivia

11. Over what nation was the Battle of Britain fought?

a. The Nation of Islam

b. Canada

c. England

d. I don’t know. I wasn’t alive then. Maybe Utah.

12. What country dominates the Mexican Peninsula?

a. Costa Rica

b. Venezuela

c. Mexico

d. Tijuana

13. Which has a larger landmass, Greenland or Iceland? Russia or Monaco? Saudi Arabia or Israel? Australia or Denmark?

14. What is the literal translation of Newfoundland?

a. nice doggie

b. new found land

c. Codfish paradise

d. big, cold trailer park on the way to the Arctic Circle.

15. Just who named Hudson Bay?

a. James Brown

b. Little Richard

c. Henry Hudson

d. L.L. Bean

16. The Scottish terrier was bred in what country?

a. Yes

b. Iran (Persia)

c. Scotland

d. Luxembourg

17. What country is known for Swiss cheese and discreet banking practices?

a. Czechoslovakia

b. North Korea

c. Switzerland

d. Haiti

18. Spell Egypt.

19. What’s the difference between North Dakota and South Dakota?

20. If you had Prince Edward in a can where would you keep him?

a. Britain

b. Nova Scotia

c. Prince Edward Island

d. North Carolina.

Send your answers and $35 to Box 1209, Ouray, CO 81427. If you are chosen you will receive our monthly newsletter and nothing else. Thanks for taking the test.

Filed Under: Fractured Opinion

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