Dumber than the Horseshoe

Here’s a portion of the reel nuze from out there…

Bovine domino effect cow trips, player hurt

(Ankara, Turkey) Ethem Sahin thought his friends were kidding when they told him how he ended up in the hospital. But they witnessed the cow fall through the roof of the coffee house where they were playing dominoes and knock Sahin unconscious.

     “My friends told me later what happened. I couldn’t believe it,” Sahin told the Anatolia News agency.

     Sahin was treated in the hospital for a broken leg and needed seven stitches in his forehead after the freak accident Tuesday in the central Anatolian city of Nevsehir.

     The cow apparently wandered from the hillside where it was grazing onto the roof of the coffee house, which was built into the side of the hill. Its status is unknown.

     “Freak accident, my sit-downer,” said one of Sahin’s friends. “This kind of thing happens all the time.”

Child cited for putting P in park

stolen from the New York Daily News

(New Jork) Three-year-old Harry Branch-Shaw really, really had to pee. So he did what most kids his age would do–he found a tree and let go.

     Then a city parks officer did what most cops probably wouldn’t: He gave the tyke a $50 summons. Actually Harry isn’t old enough, so his nanny was cited instead.

     “The whole thing seems so absurd,” said mom Gigi Branch-Shaw.

     The pee pee crime spree unfolded Friday when Harry and a friend decided to have a play date in a park on a sparkling summer day. Harry is potty trained but all of the excitement must have made him ignore nature’s warning signs. As the crisis progressed the pre-schooler actually started for a nearby public toilet but his nanny realized he was not going to make it in time.

     “It was either that or wet his pants,” said his mom, who works as a sausage packer over in Brooklyn.

     The nanny, who demanded anonymity, had barely finished helping the boy pull up his pants when the parks officer walked up and started writing the ticket.

     The officer, whose name appears on the ticket as “J. Perez” , demanded the young woman, a legal immigrant from West Africa, show him some identification. She refused then relented when another cop politely explained that she should cooperate.

     “She’s lucky we don’t call in social services,” said a police spokesman.

     As for Harry, “He thought it was a fun thing, with the two police officers,” said Gigi Branch-Shaw. It is unlikely Harry will be placed on probation unless he is deemed a potential repeat offender.

     The family doesn’t plan to take the tinkle transgression lying down. Harry and his mom plan to contest the matter.

Study: Booze, tobacco pervade cartoons

(Waukegan IL) A study of 81 G-rated animated features from 1937 to 2000 found that nearly half show characters using alcohol or tobacco–some to excess.

     The analysis by the Harvard School of Public Health was published in the June issue of the journal Pedriatrics. The authors said the review is not meant to suggest that such films should be avoided, but that it could be used by parents to discuss the dangers of alcohol and tobacco as their children watch. Often negative roll models are already in place within the family unit, acting as bad examples, and kids can watch them too.

     The review suggests that the use of alcohol and tobacco in animated films may be declining. Of 20 recently made films 12 contained no tobacco use, compared with nine in an earlier bunch.

     “It’s a relief to know that in at least our analysis, we notice a downward trend, said Fumie Yokota, one of the authors of the study.

     Still, she added, parents should know that a significant portion of the movies available on video do not portray the long-term consequences of using tobacco and alcohol.

     “Let’s face it,” said another author. “These cartoons are just a bunch of drunks. Why can’t anyone make a children’s film about the delirium tremors or lung cancer. Imagine Daffy Duck on an iron lung or Woody Woodpecker watching rats run up the curtains, restrained in his hospital bed.”

     In the review 15 of the 38 films showing alcohol use (40 percent) suggested excessive use or abuse through hiccups, staggering or flushed faces. 13 of the 35 films showing tobacco use (37 percent) showed a physical effect such as coughing or turning green.

     The films ranged from “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” in 1937 to “The Tigger Movie” last year.

     Included were such films as The Hunchback of Notre Dame (26 seconds of alcohol use and 23 seconds of tobacco use); 101 Dalmatians (26 seconds alcohol, 6 minutes and 27 seconds tobacco); and The Little Mermaid (7 seconds of tobacco).

     So that’s what they’re up to over at Harvard.

     One critic of the study, Dr. Efram Pennywhistle of the University of Downtown Delta had this to say about the matter:

     “Have these academians nothing else with which to fill their daylight hours? There are leaves to pick up in the park and weapons to clean. What nonsense. They didn’t undress the subject of nudity (Donald and Daisy Duck for instance) in Disney films, nor did they approach the subject of anger management (ala Daffy Duck, Elmer Fudd, Yosemite Sam) in Warner Brothers cartoons. Sadly, we must conclude that these cartoon examiners must be aliens, possibly from Neptune or Pluto. Don’t they realize that there is nothing funny about sipping and puffing. The humor has always been retrieved by how the character responds. I hope this study didn’t cost much.”

– edited by Kashmir Horseshoe


Filed Under: Reflections on Disorder


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