Depends Intros Opinion Pants

“Everyone has one and it often gets messy”. That’s the slogan for Depenz new Opinion Pants that have only yesterday been approved by a slew of unnecessary federal agencies and echoed by floundering consumer protection eunuchs.

The pants, made of synthetic hemp, can be worn on the inside or the outside and are not just for older people. The wrap not only keep one’s sense of humor dry but it mutes and edits verbiage transmitted from vital organs according to a spokesperson for Depenz.

One could only expect to see a variety of applications from bar chatter to family dinners, and from city council minutes to law enforcement efforts.

Everyone needs a little control when it comes to relieving themselves through hasty or mindless opinions, according to the innovative company. These are apt to do the trick!

Despite all the excitement the release of the product is not expected until November. Interested consumers are asked to “just shut up” until then.

– Fred Zeppelin

Filed Under: Soft News


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