CURE FOR MAD DRUGSTORE COWBOY DISEASE YEARS OFF SAYS DOC

(Ridgway) Dedicated researchers throughout the West have spent decades pouring over mounds of data. Hospitals have built wings dedicated to finding a cure. Pickups have more than doubled in price. Cow pies are still cow pies. A horses’ ass is still a horses’ ass.

Local medico, Efram Pennywhistle, a former PRCA rodeo trainer, says the disease will be around for years.

“There’s nothing really wrong with dressing up like a cowboy if it turns you on,” says the always-fashionable Pennywhistle,”just so long as the pretenders remember to where skivvies under their chaps in public and don’t bother the local herd animals.”

Recently real cowpunchers have been confused with the drugstore variety, who wear spurs to the grocery and keep swallowing their chew. Most are unable to saddle a blanket much less a horse says Pennywhistle.

“I suppose in a tourist area it’s far better to have drugstore pards loitering around doing rope tricks than to have suburban refugees in hiking boots running for public office,” he spat.

Pennywhistle then terminated the conversation saying that one pearl-studded hero couldn’t get his new boots off and he was needed in surgery.

– Bart Maverick

“The one who passes through the meshes of the net can do nothing for the one who is caught.”

– Ferdinand Kaisergruber in We Will Not Go to Tuapse.

 

Filed Under: Fractured Opinion

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