CONGRESS TO UNDRESS E-MAIL ADDICTION

Sputniks in Cyberspace?

(Washington) The situation is worse than imagined. That’s the conclusion of a Congressional sub-committee on the sensitive subject of E-Mail addiction.

At press time more and more people are accessing the Internet and with it the ability to send messages on-line. Soon many become addicted to the instant gratification that comes from split second electronic chatter. Then they start sending small talk and inconsequential banter over the net.

“The most severely addicted send meaningless drivel to a host of destinations,” said one investigator. “Lots of times they don’t even know with whom they are communicating. They spend countless hours at the computer sending what is in affect junk mail.”

In many instances the lame messages are quickly deleted by the receiver upon recognizing the sender’s name on the in box roster which is noting more than a waste of time.

“Imagine a woman in Missouri waiting for a new catfish and black-eyed peas recipe from her mother in Louisiana when all of a sudden she gets one of those puked family Christmas updates on E-Mail,” said one committee member. “It could easily be enough to ruin her appetite for the holidays.”

After the the summer recess Congress will decide if legislation is necessary to prevent the spread of this disease. According to unconfirmed sources here the law makers agree that such practices are an invasion of privacy but have yet to determine if constant E-Mail activity can be treated as a social disease.

“We’d like to find a cure before it’s too late,” continued the source. “If these people had to go to the trouble of mailing a letter one wouldn’t hear from them in a coon’s age.”

 

“He cannot think without his hat.”   – Samuel Beckett, Waiting For Godot (1952)

Filed Under: Hard News

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