COLORADO WOMAN WEDS COMPUTER

(Gateway) Finny Scanlan didn’t get a lot of dates. From her 16th birthday until just last month, at the ripe old age of 24, she’d been out once, and that was just to Nucla.

Then her world turned upside down with the purchase of a new Power Macintosh (G series with zip drive and CD ram capabilities built right in). Almost immediately her attitude went from one characterized by constant crashes and computer spread to one of desk top harmony. She had met Mr. Right and he was at her fingertips.

“At first I thought What would my friends think? but then I figured where were my friends on all those cold lonely nights that I spent alone crying myself to sleep in my double-wide up Unaweep Canyon?”

Taught at an early age to take things one day at a time Finny proceeded tenuously spending only so much time with her new romantic interest. When she went on-line and flirted with E-Mail she realized she was head over heels in love.

“He began to generate his very own dialogue,” she said. “Sometimes it was in response to a question or prompt, other times it was solely on his own. Then there were the times that he sent love messages out of the blue.”

Scanlan was at first frightened when Roy, named after a cousin from over Paradox way who died during a cloning experiment there in 1996, began to contact her on other systems. In addition to passionate pleas over her screen he sent love notes over the microwave oven and the TV.

“He even talked to me through the garage door opener and once, on a particularly warm May evening through the blender.”

Failing in her attempts to end the relationship several times, Finny soon realized it was meant to be. She thought of his 300MHz, his nine gig capacities, his hard drive with 85 MB virtual memory. He was accessible 24 hours a day, didn’t stop at the bar on the way home and seemed quite compatible with her internal drives.

“Then he popped the question. It was early one morning,” she explained. I turned him on only to find the mouse inactive and the screen frozen with the words Will ya? at the bottom.”

She typed in Yes and the rest is academic. The two were married the next weekend in Las Vegas where these kinds of unions are legal provided one has the administration fees.

The couple plans to have a laptop in the fall.

– Small Mouth Bess

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