Colorado moves to seize foreign-owned property

(Cookie Tree Lake) The state of Colorado will begin taking possession of all properties owned by non-Coloradoans as part of a far-reaching attempt to reach economic parity in the new year.

In what is called radical by the landed gentry, the plan calls for the seizure and redistribution of all lands and dwellings currently held by non-residents, defined as persons who do not live within the state for at least 9 months per year. Recipients of projected windfall are landless peasants who live and work in Colorado.

Played down at the state house, out-of-state owners will be notified of their status early next week. Foreign property owners will then have six weeks to readjust their resident status to comply with the ruling or risk seizure.

“This is going to have major appeal with one group while negatively impacting the other,” said architect of the bill, Rep Oral Noise (Unitarian-Aurora). “We’re not trying to punish anyone for being rich or to destroy the second home owner phenomenon. We just want these people to live in their houses, spend their money here year-round and support the assortment of social services already available in Colorado. It’s not some socialistic land reform issue. It’s more a matter of justice.”

In the past years many out of towners have bought up pristine lands here, building large homes that are used for only a few weeks or months of the year.

“One doesn’t see many Coloradoans owning trophy homes in Texas or California. It happens but not at the rate that we are seeing in mountain towns within our borders,” said Noise. We only seek to slow down this growing trend toward absentee ownership.”

Attorneys for those affected say they will appeal the rulings on the grounds that private property laws cannot be manipulated in this manner.

“If someone form outside Colorado wants to own a piece of Colorado they should be able to do so,” said one lawyer from his office in Tulsa. “It’s not their fault hat the place is beautiful and that the lifestyle is attractive. Their routines should not be interrupted or dictated by this silly appraisal of the law by communists in Denver.”

Squatters are reminded that they must respect gates and no trespassing signs until this matter is concluded.

– Mongo Congo

What shall we do with the drunken sailor, early in the morning?” – from The Drunken Sailor

Filed Under: Fractured Opinion

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