Chiefs Chargers, Even Raiders Picked to Finish Ahead of Broncos

As usual the jock-inspired TV whizzes have picked our boys to finish last in the AFC West again in 2018. But here is a second opinion, a very specific projection of the 2018 season written September 6. Keep for handy reference or file under “disrespect continues” and the next time you engage in an intimate correspondence with remind them that we have a baseball team in Denver…Yes, right there in the National League and all.

SEAHAWKS – Opening game in Colorado marred by rain. Wilson gets to know Chubb. Seattle backs reacquaint themselves with Miller. Methodical victories are still victories when the clock runs out. Broncos 24 -10

RAIDERS – Keenan Coming Out Party. He throws for 4 touchdowns. Ex-Raider Marquette King pins his former team within their own 5 yard line four different times. Broncos defense dominates 36 – 7

RAVENS – Bad boys meet bad men. Broncos travel for one of those terrible 11 am game on the East Coast but walk away with victory 17-10. Royce Freeman runs for 100 yards. Kyle Haley records 25 tackles.

CHIEFS– KC picked but gets picked by the likes of Josey Jewel (2), Bradley Roby and Chris Harris Jr. I wonder where that guy Smith is today. Denver 27 – 13

JETS – In the Big Apple this “breather game” almost gets out of hand. Two returns by Phillip Lindsay (one punt and one kickoff in the 4th) save the day for Denver 24 – 17.

RAMS – Perhaps the toughest team on the schedule. 20 inches of snow on Saturday helps the Bronco cause if not the congestion around whatever they are calling the stadium this year. This pivotal victory redefines the season, making the 5- 0 Broncos 6-0 and making believers out of everyone in the Rockies. Denver 12 Rams 10.

CARDINALS – This Thursday matchup unveils a stunning aerial show with a slew of play-action grinders, sideline ballet and runs up the gut. Chad Kelly starts for ailing Case Keenum (food poisoning on Colfax) and throws for 600 yards. Is he the franchise in franchise?

CHIEFS – At Arrowhead where we must endure that idiot chopping chant. Despite the pressures of 7-0 the Broncos start hitting right off the bus and demolish the KC team 45 – 10. Devonte Booker runs for 200 years. Chad Kelly throws for 450. Betsy DeVos reportedly in the stands but to the chagrin of dwindling support base is wearing institutional green, presumably in support of food poisonings on Colfax.

TEXANS  – Formidable team visits Denver. Jake Butts shows everyone why he is so highly rated catching two TD passes from Case Keenum. Late in the game he recovers an on-side kick attempt season the game for the Broncos 24 – 7. Defense allows less than 100 yards passing and rushing.

CHARGERS – Southern California after a bye week watches as the Broncos dismantle the highly rated San Diego defense while stifling the Charger offense with 5 turnovers in the first half. Emanuel Sanders and Demaryius Thomas put on a clinic catching a combined 18 passes in the 42 – 6 “upset”.

STEELERS – This much anticipated match pits the best two teams in the AFC in Denver. Big Ben knocked out in first quarter. Denver turns the tables on Pittsburgh with the blitz and the Denver offensive line controls the scrimmage points. Until the Play-offs then…

BENGALS – Away games in December have been an issue before but not in the Queen City. Von Miller records three sacks and Derek Wolfe creates and recovers a fumble on the Bengal 3. Bradley Roby makes an interception to seal this close one. Denver 31 Cincinnati 24.

49ERS – Surprisingly improved but still a few players short the 49ers lead the entire game only to be beat by a 94-yard punt return with 20 seconds to go. Broncos 20- 14. A perfectly executed block at the 10-yards line by fullback Andy Janovich springs Lindsay who races up the sideline to the end zone.

BROWNS – They must have improved since last week. The Broncos score 28 in the first half with Case Keenum then bring in Chad Kelly who throws for 3 more scores in the second half just because he can. NFL considers limiting the number of Irish quarterbacks on each team in 2019. Courland Sutton crosses the goal line twice with a loaf of brown bread from the two play callers.

RAIDERS – Ah, Christmas Eve with our friends in Black and Silver. Despite all the wanna be circus entertainers in the stands the play on the field is outstanding. Could the Broncos lose one? No, Denver prevails on a fluke safety and a recovered on-side kick that sets up a meaningless last second field goal. Broncos survive 18 – 14. They are now 15 – 0.

CHARGERS – Despite sitting many starting players, both of these play-off bound crews exchange touchdowns at a high-scoring tempo. Keenum throws for nearly 700 years while the starters prepare for post season. Broncos go 16 – 0 with this ridiculous 56 – 42 win.

If you disagree with these projections please move to another state. (New Mexico, Wyoming, Western Kansas, Utah and Nebraska don’t count).


Denver knocks off Pittsburgh 21-14 and New England 36 – 10 to advance to the Super Bowl where they meet and defeat the New Orleans Saints by a touchdown.

– Kashmir Horseshoe

Filed Under: Lifestyles at Risk


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