Champion Fly Swatter in Town

(Almont) Legendary fly assassin, Melvin O’ Toole is expected here this week to instruct the faithful in proper fly control techniques. The acclaimed “Matador de Moscas” (Fly Killer) will be offering classes for the beginner all the way up to expert fly combatant.   

Toole’s 70 years of fly extermination experience is not likely to be lost on desperate local residents. Many are faced with large, aggressive green-headed beasts “in their buttermilk” that come down to lower country after a summer of torturing livestock up high.

Attributing his legendary status to long arms and concentration, Toole reportedly smashed an estimated 74 flies, during an interview with The Gunnison Times.

“He did it bare-handed, the old-fashioned way, one fly at a time,” said the paper “with nothing but a paper towel tube and three rubber bands.”

A bit jumpy, Toole sat rubbing his hands together during most of the interview.

– Rocky Flats

“The Maharaja of Gwalior killed over 1400 tigers in his lifetime and was the author of a work destined for a limited if select audience, “A Guide to Tiger Shooting.”  – from Freedom at Midnight by Larry Collins and Dominique Lapierre.

Filed Under: Reflections on Disorder


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