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BLM Loses Keys to Gate

(Montrose) The Bureau of Land Management has apparently misplaced the keys to a security gate west of here fanning the flames of fear that the land inside may be up for grabs. The almost 10,000 acres, protected by the gate and almost 7,000 miles of fence, could fall into the wrong hands as soon as Tuesday.

“The Mexican gov’ment has been eyeballing this little parcel since we stole most of the Southwest from them in 1850,” said Melvin De Toole, veteran sagebrush expert with the BLM. “It has been sending reconnaissance teams up this way disguised as farm workers for almost a century. They know our weak points.”

Toole added that, in addition to the potential setbacks in the Manifold Destiny Ballpark the region could come up short of deer and elk come harvest time.

“Peoples to the south have always wanted to entice our deer and elk,” explained Toole. “It’s common knowledge that they have been coveting our elk since the Gadsden Purchase. As long as we are the custodians of the land we will fight to keep it,” he promised.

It was not clear how the elk could have escaped due only to the keys being misplaced. Insiders at the BLM think rogue elements within the agency itself purposely left the gate open. Sources near the action suggest that jealous elements in New Mexico and Utah may well have been in cahoots with the Mexicans as well.

“With the land gone what would we have to manage?” asked Toole. “The deer and elk never listen and the rest of the forest animals run away whenever we try to approach them.”

– Forest Grump

“The Democrats appear too tired to choose a Presidential candidate. They remain stunned at the entrance of the big barn dance, perplexed by what can of food to donate to the local food bank in lieu of admission fee. Are they waiting for someone else to assume control?”

– the Ghost of Paul Von Hindenburg

Irish court delays construction of RTP compounding plant

Frank Esposito

An Irish court has delayed an order that would have allowed RTP Co. to build a compounding plant in that country.

The Irish High Court made the decision on July 30, according to an email update from Save Our Skibbereen (SOS), a local group that has opposed the plant. The decision also was reported that same day by the Southern Star newspaper.

Local zoning board An Bord Pleanala (ABP) consented to the decision. ABP had approved the project in late November. The main ground for the court’s decision, according to SOS, was that the screening by ABP for appropriate assessment was in breach of requirements laid down by the European Union’s Court of Justice in 2017.

The case now will be returned by the court to ABP for further consideration. That process will take 12-18 months, and no development can begin in that period, SOS said.

Officials with Winona, Minn.-based RTP had no comment on the latest developments. The firm has been active in Europe, opening a new plant in Poland last year. RTP also has European plants in France and Germany.

SOS officials said in the email that the decision “is excellent news, however it does not mean that the planning has been completely withdrawn and so we remain vigilant and ready to do whatever it takes to ensure that this development will never proceed.”

RTP, a major global compounder, first proposed the plant for Skibbereen in late 2017. Skibbereen is a town of about 3,000 less than 10 miles from Ireland’s southern coast. The 16,000-square-foot plant would create as many as 40 new jobs.

SOS is concerned about the environmental impact of the plant. More than 6,000 area residents have signed a petition opposing the RTP plant. Award-winning actor Jeremy Irons, who owns a historic castle in the area, also has publicly opposed the project.

Like Thor always says:

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Desfile de mascotas

con el Dr. Efram Pennywhistle Jr, DVM, LSMFT.

¿CUÁNDO DEBE COMENZAR EL KITTY?

Si lo he escuchado una vez, lo he escuchado dos veces … Dr. Efram: ¿Cuándo debería permitirse a mi gato salir con alguien? Bueno, esa es una buena pregunta, cuya composición está dentro de la composición del felino individual. Algunos gatos son maduros a los dos o tres. Otros ya se han mostrado irresponsables en ese momento. Una tal señorita que vivió en nuestro vecindario produjo 15 litros antes de que ella incluso tuviera su licencia de conducir. Qué puta.

Si el gato de una familia ha sido educado adecuadamente y tiene la capacidad de distinguir entre el bien y el mal, debería poder confiar en una cita con un Tom en la adolescencia. Nunca empuje gatito en la escena social sin embargo. Controle el comportamiento en este documento mientras se encuentra en una excursión y pida a un veterinario local que revise el Tom.

Cuando el gato de mi hermana comenzó a salir con mi cuñado, Salvador, se ofreció a llevar a los felinos al cine. Esto estaba funcionando bien hasta que Sal obtuvo su tercer DUI y perdió su licencia. Ahora los mismos gatitos toman el autobús o caminan y logran visitar a su conductor / benefactor en la lata los martes y jueves. Eso muestra algo.

En dilemas potenciales es imperativo mantener la cabeza despejada. La confianza es la palabra clave. La forma en que tratamos a una mascota en el desplazamiento a menudo determina los rasgos de personalidad. Si todo esto es demasiado científico para algunos de ustedes, simplemente esterilicen al animal. Este ha sido el Dr. Efram Pennywhistle para Pet Parade.

LA PRÓXIMA VEZ: Los Tomcats, como todos los machos de cualquier especie, tienen una sola cosa en sus mentes dementes. Te enseñaremos a cortarlos de raíz en el garaje. ¡Hasta entonces!

– Dolores Alegria

 

Risa enlatada sacada de los estantes

(Ridgway) Las tiendas de comestibles y los supermercados comenzarán a sacar risas enlatadas de sus estantes el lunes como parte de la Ley Federal de Uniformidad, que se aprobó a última hora de la noche.

Se ha determinado que la presencia de la risa enlatada, que una vez se consideró una parte integral de la Americana, es demasiado diversa para el consumidor. La eliminación obligatoria será seguida por el lanzamiento de un aparato de respuesta de entretenimiento más uniforme destinado a hacer que la ciudadanía esté más alerta a los peligros planteados por los cómics extranjeros y aquellos que buscan derribar al actual gobierno.

“Todo se trata de la percepción”, dijo un tendero que apoya el esfuerzo. “Todavía tenemos risitas congeladas y sonrisas liofilizadas para los más acérrimos. Nos gustaría ver a una población que pudiera decidir cuándo reír y de qué reírse. ¿No es ese el núcleo de la democracia?”

Las personas que esperan acumular risas enlatadas para el invierno tienen hasta el fin de semana para hacerlo. Las cantidades son limitadas.

– Melvin Toole