Cannabis Grove to Vote on Softball Team Name, Logo

Changing its street name from Mañana to Yesterday isn’t the only thing that’s kept this elderly colony viral and vital. Later this week the award winning coed softball team will be faced with a nail-biting election that would determine a new team name and logo. It’s a big deal since the retirement village has fielded powerful league-leading teams since the inception of competitive athletics in the 70s.

Since January the retirees have discovered an assortment of odd names for minor league baseball teams across the country.

“The classic marijuana leaf logo and the name “Potheads was already taken by the Hallucination Farms in Loveland while another favorite Sativa Sluggers is the name of the squad fielded by the Twin Cities of Nucla and Naturita in Western Montrose County. Mushroom Mollies was deemed too political and evokes visions of disorder from field assignments, base stealing to bathroom breaks.

Cannabis Grove Retirement Village needed more than just a name and trademark. It needed something that said heart and soul.

 “That’s what the team means to these folks,” said Earl MacAdoo, the longtime coach here at The Grove. Most still wear spikes to breakfast and sleep with their baseball gloves and caps. These are not sunny day patriots!”

MacAdoo told players that they had about a week to decide on uniforms too since the El Paso Chichuhuas have threatened legal action over copyright infringements with the current uniform.

“The same thing has happened every time we agree on what is the appropriate message the team will project on the field,” continued MacAdoo. “That means colors, uniform design, trademarks, logos and name all wound up together, ready to take ether field. We have received threatening letters from The Wichita Wingnuts, the Akron Rubber Ducks, and The Hartford Yard Goats this week alone. One particularly angry note came from my old infield mate, ball and chainer Kid Gravy of the Montgomery Biscuits who challenged Grove fund raisers, domestic staff and our head social worker to a dual over the alleged infringement.

The Traverse City Beach Bums, the Topeka Train Robbers, the Albuquerque Isotopes and the Toledo Mud Hens said they don’t care about color conflicts and disjointed information associated with recreational franchises and hot dog sales.

“Why would we care what a bunch of old hicks in Colorado are doing?” scoffed a joint letter from an inter-league source.

MacAdoo’s jugular response was swift and cutting.

“We don’t give a tinker’s damn about trademark violations and copyrights anymore. What are they going to do? Put us in jail? We’re already in jail most of the day and night here at Cannabis Grove. Sticks and stones may break turbines but names can never hurt us,” he lashed out defiantly.

Anyone wishing to take the leap into this think tank is welcome to present names and attaches. The winner could win two seats for an Amarillo Sod Poodles game in August.

– Rocky Flats, Sports Editor

Filed Under: Soft News

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