Border Wall To Feature Trump Hotel

In what might be the most blatant example of a conflict of interest, President Trump today tweeted that he would build the newest Trump Hotel within his proposed border wall. The final drawings for the 400-room inn have been completed and, according to family members “will thrill pilgrims and sightseers alike with quasi-jaded magnificence and bulging veins of bad taste throughout.”

The exact spot of the hotel was not pinpointed but rumors suggest that Texas, the only solid red state along the Mexican border, has the inside track.

As most readers already know the controversial Trump-Mex Wall blueprint calls for strategic convenience stores, discount houses, an industrial laundry, beauty parlors, full service gasoline, and many fast food entities. According to Wake Up Donald FOX News analysts now running the White House, it may be the first of many.

“It will be fantastic,” tweeted what is left of Trump. “It will create millions of jobs. It will solve our immigration problems for decades. It will stretch from sea to shining sea.*”

Democrats rejected these facts saying that Trump’s history of bankruptcies and failure to pay sub-contractors is the bugaboo here. Reminding readers that Trump was born rich and did not create his own fortune they warn of a major fiasco in the Southwest.

These pretty-haired parrots turned power-loving hawks described a multi-star, lavish hotel amid a concrete deterrent brightly painted with lots of neon and free parking. Most of the retail outlets would be open 24 hours.

“We have commitments from the big box giants,” said Goldy Kushner, producer-developer of what many are calling a structural marvel. “Soon our walled strip mall will look like every small town and suburb in America.”

The problem is that the wall has yet to be financed or built. Congress won’t pay for it. Mexico won’t pay for it. Troops continue to patrol the stretch of land from the Pacific to the Mississippi. Persons seeking asylum continue to wait. Desperate refugees still try to sneak across. A woman sells tamales in the parking lot. A man hawks sunglasses on the bridge.

Tear gas and incompetence with a quick jutting look over the shoulder to see if a weak-minded base is paying attention.

Proponents say the economy will benefit once order has been reestablished. The flagship hotel is expected to bring in millions with a soft opening in March. Well-heeled guests include former White House staffers, Russian mobsters, sycophant Republicans, Saudi RVers and members of the extended family. Grandstands to accommodate another 7 million supporters will be constructed pool side.

“A line of retailers on Mexican side will feature US made goods while consumers on the US side could purchase all sorts of Mexican goods with no tariffs or worries about exchange rates,” said one anxious shopper. “They all accept credit cads.”

Right smack in the middle of everything, somewhere in southern New Mexico, a Trump Hotel will miraculously rise on the backs of former wetbacks. Amid the spray-painted art and thecolorado funny paperfamiliar slogans the Five-Star monstrosity will reign over the land.

“We’re not sure who will want to stay there,” said an unidentified White House chief of staff. “It won’t be the cruise set or the beach lovers and it certainly won’t be the immigrants.”

In a related development Mouse Speaker Nancy Pelosi is making good on an election promise to visit every American household by Valentine’s Day.

“Let’s all go where the big bears live,” said Pelosi who has popped in on almost 50 families since November.

Most liberals within the party did not comprehend the bruin reference nor do they approve of the house calls that they say are far too personal and set a bad precedence with voters.

– Pepper Salte

*Is from sea to shining sea is a calculated misuse of Manifest Destiny jingoism here? The proposed wall would stretch from sea to shining gulf but that doesn’t rhyme and won’t get the attention of a barely literate base bent on sound bytes and infantile slogans. If the telltale statement was based on geographical ignorance maybe someone should have given this Trump entity a map of the United States for Christmas instead of another red tie.

Filed Under: Lifestyles at Risk

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