Bannon May Have Met With Fallen Angels

On the heels of indictments and guilty pleas new evidence has emerged linking former White House Chief Strategist Steve Bannon to the infamous Fallen Angels of Islamic and Christian lore.

The encounter allegedly took place last month in Antarctica where the Rebel Angels have reportedly been imprisoned since being expelled from Heaven before the dawning of mortal man.

In Milton’s Paradise Lost we meet Sinner Angels who, after a great battle with the Good Angels, led by Michael the Archangel, were hurled to earth to mix with and terrorize the unholy there.

According to a subpoena issued yesterday, Bannon was seen leaving Antarctica but never actually observed in the company of demons. He is suspected of visiting with Abezethibou (the one-winged Red Sea fallen angel) and Valefor (the many-headed lion).

Two others from of the fallen pack have agreed to testify in the case in return for reduced sentences. They are Beelzebub and Asmodeus, two royals in Hell. They did not capsulize any conversations but said the topic was most definitely centered on the Midterm Elections in November.

Bannon denied any wrongdoing adding only that demographics should never be confused with pictures of Satan.

“Isn’t it enough to be an angel or a demon?” asked one journalist covering the story. “What’s all this arch nonsense? This whole story smells of a rat. I think the parable was created so as to discourage people from rebelling against authority. It’s all about control,” he said.

Meanwhile the White House denied knowing Bannon at least three times before yielding to The Sarah Huckabee Sanders Cartoon Show aired on FOX that afternoon.

-Tommy Middlefinger

Filed Under: Fractured Opinion

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