AMERICAN ASTERISKS OPENS IN MONTROSE

(Kinikin Heights) The announcement that American Asterisks will set up shop near Montrose has brought joy to the hearts of many residents, after a long, harsh winter.

The massive plant, not a result of any bumbling committees or clueless councils of economic development, brings 40 new jobs at good wages say spokespersons for the information technology firm.

“Now the public can get asterisked without traveling all the way to Durango,” said a source at American Asterisks. “Convenience and low prices are our mantra.”

Historically, the asterisk has stood for omitted matter or an annotation of some regard. Persons wishing to assume that distinction can simply apply for an asterisk next to their name then pick it up in 10 – 20 working days. The symbol can then be linked to phone numbers, mindless passwords and even one’s Sociable Security card for no apparent reason.

“Our company’s well-won slogan: “Separating the insignificant from the insignificant” is alive and well in Western Colorado,” said the spokesperson. Persons looking for our facility should turn right on Question Mark Place, and then a hard left at Hyphen Road and another on Apostrophe Terrace. We are located at 86 Semi Colon Boulevard (5566229988663322 Road).

First visitors through the door will receive a Corey Gardener bobble head and all the asterisks they can carry.

– Kashmir Horseshoe

Filed Under: Lifestyles at Risk

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