Amazon Planned to ship displaced to Greenland

(Queens) A plot to relocate thousands of people from a designated neighborhood earmarked for a controversial Amazon headquarters has been unearthed here according to a spokesman for No More Gentrification.

Their destination: The Island of Greenland in the North Atlantic Ocean.

Bosses at Amazon, who have denied all charges, say they have no solution to housing, ethnic and social problems exacerbated by the proposed new facility.

“They figured the city and its residents would jump at all that potential money and all those high-paying jobs,” said the NMG source. “They, like most corporate devils, didn’t look at the ramifications and the human factor.”

Lawyers for Amazon say they will add this recent “libel case” to the already burgeoning stacks of lawsuits related to the now thwarted move. They say they have spent buckets of money on the project and now somebody is going to pay the bill. Libel, fraud, restrictive business practices, anarchy, communism and religious intolerance were alleged with local government and private citizens the targets.

“This Greenland misinformation is totally untrue and would be quite funny if we didn’t have all these quality of life radicals running around,” said one attorney with knowledge on the developments.

– Gabby Haze

Filed Under: Lifestyles at Risk

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