Alexa Talks Potty Language


The newly manufactured Alexa Toilet, by Kohler is the ultimate who it comes to avoiding manual labor. It warms your butt, lifts the lid, plays your favorite tunes and quietly flushes. No, it does not wipe or take selfies. Humans will still have to deal with those labors on their own.

But is Alexa in the toilet peeking? Do you really want to talk to your her in your toilet? Isn’t it bad enough that you yell back at your television and can’t manage to get across the street without your digital map? How far will humans go to escape from what is natural? Is Alexa active in compost circles? Does a bear shit in the woods?

The dog collar was one thing but a voice-activated digital assistant somewhere deep in the recesses of the toilet? Even the Czars didn’t have this! Is this classified as a bathroom necessity like a whirlpool bath and a fluffy rug?

It all might be valid if the thing changed diapers, made martinis or put the seat back up or down, depending on priorities. We have a barrage of Smart technology but while there may be trickling on the commode I don’t see anything intelligent trickling down to the masses. The sticker price of $6,000 pretty much defines who will be enjoying this gem anyhoot.

And although she probably does prevent the spread of germs, Alexa can be dangerous. Already we have lost a slew of technology faithful who got caught up in the soothing voice and fell down into the fascinating lavatorial device. A few managed to swim to safety while others were located a few blocks away. Some will likely never be found.

Attention: Be very careful using hemp toilet paper. Jeff Sessions accidentally used some the other day and his mood has lightened a bit and his appetite has improved significantly. He is said to be listening to a lot of blues and giving away all of his money. Wow Jeff, and that was just on one hit!

Filed Under: Lifestyles at Risk


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