Make big money and travel to exotic places as a proofreader for hotshot journalists all over the world. Do you have the talent and drive to claim one of these fast paced positions? Can you spell and manipulate a digital camera? Can you convince potential advertisers that you can be trusted?

Take this simple test and you could win a scholarship to the Big Earl Headwind Gladiator Academy located in Maybell, Colorado. (New facility in Cahone to open in July).

Our staff will quickly determine if you have the ability to a.) write crisp, compelling headlines; b.) proof-read with speed and accuracy c.) operate an ultra-sharp exacto-knife, a light table, scissors (Don’t run with these) and a proportion wheel from the Dark Ages of Journalism. d.) get everyone’s coffee order without typographical error e.) afford this worthwhile course.

What do you have to lose? Sit down and take the test.

Section I – Writing Heads

Rewrite the following headlines for clarity and concision. Note: These are headlines found in reputedly reputable local papers.

1. Snowpack Could Lead To Flooding.

2. Senior Citizens Getting Older Says Government Study.

3. Energizer Wabbit Wounded By Gwouse Hunters.

Take ample time to finish your work. No cheating please. That comes later on the job.

Section II Proof-reading skills

Find as many mistakes as possible in the following passages:

1. Armed with a spanking new set of murals I began to thawr out. Instantly I knowed I could, be brake-dancing the Horizontal, Two-step with any, woman mechanic in, town. instead of inhaling another round of whiskey and sleeping with the billiard rack in the liquor closet.

2. The sky was about as redd as your average cowboy’s knees at the beech in July and near’s cloudy as The cramp cookie’s general atttitude. That’s a sure sign that flatland touristas are zoned in on the vicinity,” spat one cowpuncher as he precariously landed an above average wad in a patch of pickled sagebrush.

3. “It’s sinful enough fer me,” said Clem. “Ether the driver around this parts are getting dumber or everyone in Montrose owns at yeast six vehicles.”

4. My father was an olde Indian fighter while my mother was an old Indian. I myself have taken up a career in real estate.

How many mistakes did you find? The very fact that you would spend time on this exercise is one indication that you might accept less than minimum wage during your six-year training period.. Go on to the next section.

Part III Reading for comprehension

Read the following story and write a 1600 word essay explaining its major components. You have three minutes.

Once upon a time a big bull skunk moved into the shed that housed my daddy’s still. Upon weekend examination daddy determined that he was hosting a family of unwanted guests. He also found that his moonshine had taken on a different taste and was now selling like hotcakes to the large New York perfume companies and all the way to the West Virginia border. Confused, he constructed another shed and a second still apparatus which he planned to rent out to a contingent of whistle pigs on their way to the California Gold Fields.

When you have completed the entire test fold it up (12 x 4) and send it (along with a $35 filing fee) to BEHGA, 126 Big Earl Way West, Maybell, Colorado.


Filed Under: Hard News


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